About Me

My photo
The Madman, "Yes, three days, three centuries, three aeons. Strange they would always weigh and measure. It is always a sundial and a pair of scales."

Sunday, December 21, 2014

(124)

Towards the light
Stretched sweaty hands reach
Only just,
Falling through funnels
Of purple
Violet
Red
Acid clouds.

The Light shines dimly in memories of forsaken minds
Bubbling and pulsating
Through stretched bands of asymmetrical heart beats,
Fitted feet dance to rhythmic taps
On shiny oiled wooden floors-
Hollow cavities in pompous chests
That pump purifying scum,

In corrosion, leaves of withered winters find brotherhood
Trees, of wood gray with wisdom,
Dig roots deeper than sin,
Where nothing lives
Nothing leaves
Only clings and grips
And holds on till cold vacuum flows like heavy sighs,

In the narrowest corner of final nothingness
Sits and counts
A naked ugly baby demon called Truth
Who winks his eye like hammered nail
And buries a tiny drop of vitriolic venom in your soul
And laughs so hard the shell of cosmic bubble bursts
And rains shattered reasons and memories that made sense one day
But today only cut and bruise consciousness,

Till oozing out of spongy soft conscience,
Guilt stinks up the skull with green
And causes itching inside the skin
Ripped by maddened fingers feasting on fuming flesh,

There’s only the Soul left in all its naked fullness
Standing with head hanging
Before the naked ugly baby demon called Truth
Crying like a new born shame
While the Truth laughs,
Dismisses it all
And flies away.

Sunday, December 7, 2014

(123)

Withering slowly in my soul
Your voice is a distant echo
Reverberating through the walls of my universe
Casting spells
Causing hallucinations
Creating worlds,

Dark hair on slender heads
Wave in the wind
Like a dopey pendulum,
Screeching ravens
Cover the red sky with blackness
And raging madness,
Manicured fingers
And bloody knives
Fly in every direction
Murder the air
-Rigor mortis stillness,
Turquoise whispers
Flood grey streets
Of phobia cobblestones,
I pat choking dust out of my pockets
The jingle of loose forgotten smiles
Fills my psyche like church bells,
A million chanting sadhus
Force a rip in Brahma,
Out of cracks
Ether pours
As tiny drops of sweet poison
That turn into scrambling centipedes
Carrying eggs of impending disaster,
Purpleness seeps into fibery crevices
Between nerves and veins
Shooting waves of mushroom shaped
Clouds of golden euphoria
Through my skull
Pulling my hands high
Suspending me
In the centre of the nucleus of Totality
The only place where there is vacuum,

The vacuum that keeps your voice preserved.


Monday, December 1, 2014

DREAM JUNKIE


Undone.

The fruit of epochs of effort

Was negation.

Gravity of yearning eyes

Unable to pull the moon

Back into orbit,

Echoes carry no warmth of sighs

Truth loses ground to dreams

Bit by bit.



As the smoldering end mixed fuel and euphoria

A new dimension of possibilities took flight,

New paths riding silken breeze

Freed feet of bonds,

A journey through magical colorfulness

A land of clouds and waves and repeatedly rebooting time…



Altered vision alters convictions

Won victories are revisited

The purpose of it all defeated

Faltering steps are rerun

Everything

Undone.



Mucky reality rendered unbearable,

The only thing now left

Is to take another drag of illusions

To help you forget.

Saturday, November 22, 2014

THERE IS GRASS

There’s a shadow on my back
A beam of light creeping into my skin
A turning head echoing deep in the distance
I raise my arms
Disintegrate the earth
Celebrate a puff
There is grass
-
Grinding In the background
Memories cause heat from friction
A pain visible
Standing right before my shut eyes
There is slashing of arms
There is a no, unsaid
There is grass
-
Sliding down an incline of a thousand miles
Against the breeze
A cold slap of reality
Choking the poison in
Sending it burrowing
Into veins and nerves
There is smoke
There is flesh
There is grass
-
Gathering numbers
Multiplied into bright bombs of
Botched up countdowns
There is waiting
There is breath held
There is space
For more
Inhale a blizzard
There is grass
-
Nod your heads everybody
Synchronized stupidity
Silver shits
Summoned by the Supreme
Sitting, staring straight into Hell
There is the Divine
There is a farce
There are realities
There is grass
Not green, gray.

Friday, August 1, 2014

मसीहा कहाँ है

आग की जलन तो है, रौशनी देने वाला दिया कहाँ है
शैतान तो यहाँ हर जगह है, तुम्हारा वो मसीहा कहाँ है

चल रहा है ज़हन मे वही एक मंज़र बार-बार
तब से अब तक बीति सारी सदियाँ कहाँ हैं

क्यों रह जाती हैं दिल में धड़कनें चुभने को
सारी उम्मीदें ख़त्म करने वाली तबाहियाँ कहाँ हैं

सज़ा तो ज़रूरत से ज़्यादा मेरे नाम तोल दी तुम ने
लाओ मेरा जुर्म भी, मैंने पूरा किया कहाँ है

बढ़ने दो ये धुंवा, खिड़कियाँ मत खोलो
खोलनी पड़े आँखें, अभी इतनी सियाह कहाँ है

बैठा है ऊंची मीनार मे मग़रूर एहसान कर के
दरवाज़े पे खड़ा तेरा क़ैदी सोच रिहा कहाँ है

छिला है गला बार-बार तेरा नाम पुकारे से
देना था जो पैग़ाम वो अभी दिया कहाँ है

Friday, July 25, 2014

THE UNDERLINE



Sorting and mixing illusions

That linger in your absence,

Spicing up a dull afterglow,

I'm looking for my answer

All I find is corrosion

And imbalance

Hanging loosely between space and density;

My consciousness changes color like a chameleon

Roving eyes stare for a micro moment then seep into the background like memory

They see for me and reveal.



You are the underline.



Pyramids of dead whispers piled neatly,

Housing eternal chaos

Make a ladder I must climb to finally arrive here;

This is a world of falling feathers and popping instants,

Of flowing lights and truths that tug at your attention,

Where you can swirl your way around the moon

But not find one role to fit into,

You can cup thoughts in your palm

But you can never hold on to them.



I have sat and stared at blank pages

And done nothing for hours except

Invade the farthest limits of the universe

And paint its walls invisible;

Lost-and-found is a game of destiny

You’re lost, now I must find me.






Saturday, July 5, 2014

CLOSURE



Remember how I'd lose myself in your eyes?

It's time you let me out of there

The freshness of your long absence

Is like a colorful blot of hope

On this whitewash of despair

Your leaving left behind an empty space

It's waiting to be filled again

Hoping desperately

Like a paradox,

A will to live in a life that's ready to die.

Please, grant your absence leave

I'm tired of swimming in an infinite sea

So shut your eyes.


Monday, June 23, 2014

TWOMINDSTUSSLE

Grim greenness grows
Like poisonous algae,
Wet slippery guilt
Grips and holds on,
Fear of letting go
Surrounds and drowns,
Sincerity rocks music
Into stillness,
Spiked heads of doubt
Lift up and stare
Blank like the absolute,
Vacuum rushes in
Every time wings spread.
Unwavering consistency
Is malicious like Fate,
Fight it to the finish
Give up.

ENVY WINGS

Birds have flown
They spread their wings
Worked their muscles
And flew away.
Now their flight lies here
As if in a coma
Staring at me.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

WITHOUT GIVING BACK

The night is still
Ever bustling wind stands about with a worried gaze
For the Moon is in a sour mood,
She’s trying with all her might to burn the Earth with her chilled stare
Caring clouds crowd around her in soothing embrace
But she blows them away.
Her anger is seething, the Earth isn’t.
Without even caring to look up at the wild Moon
He shines his pearly cool blue indifferently like pride
Under the very light that the Moon gifts him.
To acknowledge her boundless love is too much to ask of him
He knows, no matter how scoffed, how rejected, how angry,
She won’t stop shining her light on him
Her primeval love is forever his without giving back.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

रात रखी है सीने पे

रात रखी है सीने पे
रिस रहा है अंधेरा आँखों में
महक रहा है मौसम, जैसे आवाज़ लगा रहा हो ख़्वाबों को
आख़री बार निकला है दिल ढूँढने तुझे, कल की तरह
टहलते-टहलते ठहर गया है बादलों की दलीज़ पे पहुँच के
छुप के झाँकते चाँद की सौंधी रौशनी को देखा
तू नज़र आ गया
धीरे से टपका जो एक सुनहरा आँसू दामन फैलाये पसरी नदी मे
एक तैरता बिखरता अक्स बना, जैसे धड़कन हो
देख के उसे चाँद हँसा तेरी हँसी
दिल की तलाश पूरी हो गयी
सुबह हो गयी

Friday, May 30, 2014

दिल कि खामोशियों से बात ना कर


काली रात की सब से गहरी परतों को
फाड़ के जो स्याही निकलती है
हम उसे सीने मे सोख लेते हैं
नसों में रोक लेते हैं
आँखों मे जगह देते हैं
बातों में गंवा देते हैं
और फिर भी जो रह जाती है
इन पन्नों पे बिछा देते हैं

_

दिल के अंधेरे कोनों में जो
अफ़साने मुंह छुपाए
औंधे पड़े रहते हैं
उनसे बात छेडने की कभी
भूल मत करना
उन के लब खुले
तो इतनी कालस फट के निकलेगी
कि पुरशोर चमकते तारों कि भी
रौशनी काली पड़ जाएगी

वो जो अफ़साने हैं
कभी उजले ठहाके थे
ठोकर खा खा के बस्तियों से
बीहड़ तक आ गिरे
फिर ऐसी अंधी धुंध छाई
कि जिन गलियों में वो जवान हुए
उनका भी रास्ता भूल गए
लड़खड़ाते पड़ते हुए पहोंचे जंगल में
धुंध से भली भूल भुलैया लगी
तो अंदर घुस गए
नौकीले झाड-पेड़ों ने जंगली जानवरों के साथ मिल कर
इतनी चोट दी
कि चमड़ी का कतरा भी न बचा
ठंडी गीली कीचड़ ने ज़ख़्मों के साथ साथ
ज़हन में भी कीड़े भर दिये
जाने कौन सा कदम था
जो जा पड़ा भूखी गुफाओं के खुले मुंह में
वहशी अंधेरे ने जब निगल लिया
पत्थर के दातों से चबाने के बाद तो हड्डीओं में भी
इन अफ़सानों के कालस भर गयी

इतनी ज़िंदगियाँ जी चुके हो
पर इन अफ़सानों ने अब तक
न दम तोड़ा है
और न मुंह खोला है
छेड़ो मत इन्हे
ये बीमार थे कभी, अब ये बीमारी हैं
इन्हे ढूंढने निकले हो, लौट जाओ
गलती से ज़ुबान खोल दी तो नसो में जहर भर देंगे
जो अफ़साने दिल के अंधेरे कोनों में छुप जाया करते हैं
उन्हे खोज के बाहर निकालने वाला इंसान नहीं रेहता,
राक्षस बन जाता है
दिल कि इन खामोशियों से बात ना कर

_


काला काला अंधेरा है सब
अंधा धुंध में भटक रहा है
गीली गुफाओं में रास्ता है
गिरता पड़ता पहोंचा है
पत्थरों कि ठंडी चमड़ी पर
गरम हथेलियाँ मसलता हुआ
कल्पनाओं को अपनी सहलाता हुआ
उतर रहा है गहराईयों में
नीच है वो, नीच बन रहा
जब कुछ ठनका
किसी बात कि याद ने चांटा मारा,
दोनों मुट्ठियाँ बंद कर के
गुस्से को जकड़ के दांतों से
पीस देता है यादों को
और दिमाग को दिल के उस कोने में
क़ैद कर देता है
जहां से उसको खुद कि भी आवाज़ नहीं आती
जैसी गुफाओं के अंदर वो रहता है
वैसी गुफाएँ उसके अंदर भी रहती हैं
भटकता रहता है अंधेरे कोने में बैठा बैठा

Thursday, May 22, 2014

AFAR OFF



My only company is this curse of confused compasses
Pulling me in directions as opposite as graves and skies.
Between here and you there is a vast ocean of lives
All of which I must live one by one and in search of the next one,
The one that leads to the one that takes me to you.
My mind, I imagine, must be kept on a short leash
Lest it stray to horizons far beyond the realm of lines and bars,
By far the worst of predicaments that I have been through
Though I may be forgetting that thing about my compass friends;
Ways to get there so many I see
I sit here and wait for there to find its way here.
I have believed that I have believed
But to know for sure I must put an end to it all;
Will the end be there where I reach if I do?
And will you be smiling?
Waiting with open arms
And tears and scars and all those gifts given to you by the stars;
But the end seems far
While my mind, short of leash and thought
Can only go as far as the point from where it can see clearly how much further
And while the compasses make it run circles
And before I reach anywhere
I will sit here and gaze at the end
And imagine you and many things bizarre…



Monday, April 14, 2014

जो हिसाब मिल जाते हैं

गहरे-काले अंधेरे में कुछ साये पीछे-पीछे आते हैं
जब तुम्हारी याद नहीं आती, हम कुछ इस तरह घबराते हैं

साहिल को छू-छू के यूं लौट जाती है समंदर की लहरें
जैसे हम तुम्हारी तरफ बढ़ा के कदम, पीछे हट जाते हैं

इतनी बातों के बाद भी आज गुमसुम पड़ा है आसमान मेरा
तेरी उन बातों की याद में हम कितने ही पुरशोर तारे जलाते हैं  

गए वो दिन जब बैठे रहते थे तेरी खुशबू के साये लपेटे हुए
अब वो साये भी सारी रात इस सफ़ेद उजली रौशनी में बिताते हैं

क्या खोया, क्या पाया, किस लम्हे कौन सा मोड़ कहाँ ले आया
जो हिसाब मिल जाते हैं, उन्हे हुम बड़ी मेहनत से भूल पाते हैं

Saturday, February 15, 2014

बेहरूपिया

यूं बेनक़ाब फिरा है बेहरूपिया इन दिनों 
अपनी हर पहचान को उस ने भुला दिया इन दिनों 

बनती-बनती बात को झटके में बिगाड़ दिया 
इस तरह बीति बातों का बदला दिल से लिया इन दिनों 

भूले हुए कुछ जुनून हर जगह फिर मौजूद मिले 
याद नहीं कुछ, कि हम ने क्या-क्या किया इन दिनों 

जैसा था सब वैसा ही तो बासी पड़ा है 
याद तो आता है कि बहुत कुछ लिया-दिया इन दिनों 

कहाँ कभी भूल पाना मुमक़िन हुआ था, 
पर सच तुझे हद से ज़यादा याद किया इन दिनों

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

YOURS FOREVER



My dear,
I’m writing to say that I was thinking of you
Of that night,
Do you remember?
The one with the yellow moon behind thin white clouds like caressing fingers
And the sky like a silken neck showing off its favorite stone?
You softly woke and lifted your sleep heavy eyelids
And turned to me and smiled
And there they were,
Revealed,
Adding magic to moonlight,
The pathways to my home,
Your eyes.
Do you remember?
But you know there was no such night
And that I’ve been dreaming
And you also know that I love you
And I know it too.

That is all I will ever have
Softly playing in the background like a song
Like loneliness
It will always be there
Looking out my window, calling me
Pulling me away from it all
Drawing me out at night
It will be there in the walks I take
Through empty streets that breathe evenly as the city sleeps
And I will have only this
Not on my mind, not in my heart
But on my lips, silent, still
In my ears whispering suddenly, barely loud enough
In the unevenness of the steps I take
In the wind brushing against my face in gusts
In the tired blink of my eyes
Holding my hand when I stop
Gazing up at the smiling moon
It will be there looking at me, smiling goodbye
Standing in the yellow light of the streetlamp at the next turning
The one I turn back from;

But I will never know all this
And I will never know you anymore
Because you are not here
Because you will never be
Because I have no memory of the day you were
My dear, while this is for you
It is not from me
It cannot be.
Yours forever,